Fear of the Worst Soulmate Ever: Navigating a Matchmaker's Proposal (I)

fear of meeting someone

The idea of meeting someone through a matchmaking service can stir up deep fears of disappointment, rejection, or simply the fear of wasting your time. 

What if this turns out to be the worst soulmate ever manga scene - a scenario where everything seems perfect at first, but then it all unravels unexpectedly, just like in a manga where the storyline takes an unexpected twist? 

As you sit across from a complete stranger, it’s natural to feel a mix of excitement and anxiety. However, the fear of meeting someone new doesn’t have to paralyze you. Instead of letting your worries take over, let’s explore some of the most common uncertainties that arise on a first date, along with a few simple tips to help you turn this moment into a successful opportunity.

1. Do You Fear Not Being Their Type?

Are you afraid that the potential ideal partner won’t appreciate your appearance, style, career, personality, history, etc.? This line of thinking will only stress you out. Instead, look at things differently. The goal of an appointment is to decide whether you want to see the person again, not whether they like you. Simply behave as if they’ve already heard your story, not as if you’re on trial - because they are. This will help you relax and enjoy the present moment.

2. Worried About Embarrassing Yourself?

Are you scared of spilling coffee in your future partner’s lap, choking on a piece of food, tripping on the sidewalk, or having some other mortifying incident... and then suddenly your face will turn red, and the other person will think you’re an idiot? Think again. Even if such an incident happens, look on the bright side: revealing your weaknesses can actually make you more relatable to your potential partner. Those awkward first-date moments often become some of the fondest memories and the stories that couples happily repeat, like laughing at themselves or dipping the sleeve in béarnaise sauce. When you see that the other person is also uncomfortable, it creates a natural bond, and you find them more likable. So if something unexpected happens, just laugh (instead of getting scared or spending the rest of the night apologizing), and accept that now you’re both part of the “awkward date club.”

3. What if You Never See Them Again?

Before a date, you often worry about what to do if you don’t want to see the person again but they like you. You may say "I feel terrible about rejecting someone, and I get so nervous about it." Well, it’s fine to worry about them, but a candlelit dinner doesn’t mean you’re committing to a lifetime of happiness with many children. As the saying goes, you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. Try not to overthink it, and if necessary, politely tell the person you don’t feel a connection. You can simply say, "I don’t think we’re a good fit," or just say “no, thanks” when they invite you to another date. And if you think you’ve put them in an awkward spot, take a step back: rejecting someone shows respect for their time, and most adults are mature enough to take care of themselves.

To be continued... Discover more insights in the next section, as we explore how to turn first date nerves into meaningful connections.